From: meo@stiatl.UUCP (Miles O'Neal) Subject: Infinite Energy Date: 26 Apr 89 16:29:58 GMT Organization: Sales Technologies Inc., a teeny little company in the existance of creation... Gone Fission by Miles O'Neal an excersize in absurdity and voice Copyright 1989 by Miles O'Neal, Marietta, GA. All rights reserved. - I - (final diary excerpt, Fred Finklestein, May 9, 1989) So, Junior (1) walks into the room and says, "look, dad!" And I (2) say, "that's pretty neat, son, how'd you get glowing marsh gas to stay in your hand?" "It's not marsh gas, dad, it's cold fission!" "Son, you mean cold FUSION. Glad that chemistry set came with heavy water." "No, dad, I mean FIZZion. At room temperature. All it took was fizzies and Plutonium. The hydrogen given off is so hot it tries to fuse in a big ball, which implodes the remaining stuff inside even more, and it fizzes even better than fizzies (tm) in water!" I notice my hair falling out and that the walls are melting. Deep down inside, i feel bones disintegrating, and I see my skin falling to the floor in strangely colored chunks. Too late to run, now. "So, guy, how come this isn't bothering you?" "Oh, no, dad, I meant to throw this lead gown to you before I came around the corner! I got on my heavy-metal Underoos!" "That's ok, kid. Now, go show your mom (remember that gown!) and have her call our lawyer before you show anybody else. See you at the Judgement!" Everything fades to dark, then to light, and I'm not allowed to write any more about it here. (1) imagine a short, 7-year old cross between Arnold Schwartznegger, PeeWee Herman, Gene Simmons, me, gypsy, and the Fat Woman at the circus. (2) imagine a fat, 37-year old cross between Arnold Schwartznegger, PeeWee Herman, Gene Simmons, Junior, gypsy, and the Fat Woman at the circus. - J - (Austin, AP 5/21/89) Today, Texas at last excersized its option to secede from the USA. Nobody is the Republic of Texas will tell us just what has happened, but the fact that they have offered to supply all the US energy needs for $3,000,000,000 / year leads some to speculate that someone has discovered a new oil deposit. The former governor and the new President of the RoT has made similar offers to most other nations, with some strings attached. The US, for instance, is asked to lend various military support in case of attack. Israel is asked to cease fighting Palestinians and vice versa. Certain South American countries are requested to send heads from their dictators. Other than Egypt and Kuwait, the oil-bearing mideastern countries have been ignored by Texas. Exxon was sold to the highest bidder, Pittsburgh Scrap Steel Reclamation, for $.10 on the pound. The other oil companies are lobbying Congress to halt this "foreign" energy importing, while filing for Chapter 11 reorganization. Officers in most of the nation's electrical utilities are disapperaing in company planes or committing suicide at an incredible rate. - K - (Washington, UPI 7/4/90) While most of the world blindly enjoys the cheap, abundant energy from Texas, many of Texas' western neighbors have been forced to evacuate their land. The westerly breeze that passes over Houston, source of the great nightime glow of which Texas says nothing is killing livestock and people in record numbers. Mutant yucca have taken over much of southern New Mexico. Scientists record major radioactive substance levels in the wind. - L - (your arrival at home, 7/9/90 7:10 PM local time) You walk into your front door and flip on the overhead fan. Nothing happens. You assume it is the breaker, as flipping the switch a few times does no good. Stepping into the hall, you flip on the light switch, and again nothing happens. After a few seconds of contemplation, you are sure the electric bill has been paid. You walk back to the front porch, and realize that in the last few seconds, all the air conditioners have gotten quiet. The electric vehicles charging in the Davis' yard across the street have no charge indicator lights lit. The only sounds are a few petrofuel vehicles droning nearby. Thinking hard, you recall no forecast of a power distribution worker's strike. Looking into the distance, you realize that the perpetually lit sign on top of the tallest building in town is out. For no reason you can pin down, a feeling of dread steals over you. You wonder if Texas has gotten wind of something dirty in Congress and grabbed the USA by the throat. You smile to yourself and think the US could use a good shaking, especially if Congress gets ousted over it. - M - (New Orleans, AP 7/10/90) National Guardsmen in radiation-proof suits continue to guard the border between the USA and what was the Republic of Texas. No survivors are known to exist in that highly radioactive hell, other than the exhausted child in heavy-metal Underoos that staggered out yesterday. The mysterious glow in the night has dulled to a flickering red suspected to be fires. NASA satellites continue to show only a giant hot spot twice the size of the former city of Houston. Everything in the USA to the west of Texas is now empty, and the winged yucca are being shot on site by the National Guard. Several of the mutant plants have carried off cars, children, and even a small A&W stand in Albequerque. The only words spoken by the escaped child before collapsing into a coma were, "I TOLD them cherry Fizzies, not root beer". These are assumed to be merely the ramblings of a child near death. The child, age 7, has been identified as Fred Finkelstein, Jr, who moved with his mother and an entire law firm to Houston just days before Texas' secession. Most readers are aware of the Finkelstein family's sudden wealth which was never explained publicly. Every bank in the nation is being checked for legal documents such as wills related to the Finkelstein family, but it is feared that all such documents were kept only in Houston. The air force is preparing to bomb the San Andreas fault to free what is left of California to drift out to sea, perhaps saving some of Oakland and Berkeley. Libya is reportedly offering to sell us oil at the "bargain price" of $3,000 per barrel. The CIA is reportedly considering an assault on the mideast. The president, surounded by bodyguards and "no comments", has retired to Camp David with his advisors. \ / ---=*miles*=--- captain i cant raise el paso on any frequency Path: i_core!caeco!iconsys!uunet!cs.utexas.edu!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!emory!stiatl!meo From: meo@stiatl.UUCP (Miles O'Neal) Newsgroups: alt.prose,talk.bizarre Subject: more fishin' Keywords: screaming eagle Message-ID: <4444@stiatl.UUCP> Date: 28 Apr 89 17:38:51 GMT Distribution: na Organization: Sales Technologies Inc., a teeny little company in the existance of creation... Lines: 169 Xref: i_core alt.prose:38 talk.bizarre:1510 Gone Fission (Part 2) -=Miles O'Neal=- an excersize in absurdity and voice Copyright 1989 by Miles O'Neal, Marietta, GA. All rights reserved. - N - (classified radio transcript, USAF 7/11/90, 8:55 PM)) "Hobbes, this is Calvin, do you copy? Over " "Calvin, this is Hobbes. Go ahead. Over " "Hobbes, we can't raise anybody in El Paso, even though the destruction seems to have somehow bypassed it. We see lights. Repeat, we see lights. Request permission for fast, high-altitude flyover. Over" "Calvin, permission granted. If your rad-indices are low enough afterwards, go back for a low-altitude pass. Do you copy? Over " "Affirmative, Hobbes. Report back in seven minutes. Over. " - O - (conversation aboard USAF F-15E #731, 7/11/90, 9:03 PM) "Well, Admiral, what do you think? How are the readouts?" "Very good, Captain. The rad count is much lower than expected, only mildly dangerous. All frequencies are still drowned out by the static we keep finding, but other than that, everything looks good for the low-level flyby." "Roger." "Hobbes, this is Calvin. Low-level return flight commencing. Over. " "Very well, Calvin. Hobbes out. " "Captain, let's try the upper valley first." "Right, sir. Here we go." (The world spins over sideways, then inverts, as the pilot throws the plane into a tight downward spiral just north of the Franklin mountains. After long seconds of being sucked down into their seats, watching the landscape spin crazily to 1 side, the plane is righted, the afterburners are kicked in, and the lone Eagle screams into the valley, trailing sonic destruction of the peaceful evening in its wake.) - P - (personal thoughts, 7/11/90, 9:09 PM) As I stare moodily into my coffee, I find myself again wondering at the strange turn of events that has led to our being spared. All my relatives, dead overnight in an orgy of energy excess because a beaurocrat got a deal on the wrong flavor of instant soft drink tablets, if the paper is to be believed. Looking at Martha, so composed across the table, I thank God we were here visiting Stacy and Elvin in El Paso, and that we had to bring the kids with us. But again I am reminded that Mom, Dad, June, Scat, and the others are gone. For Good. I barely notice the hot tears that leak from my eyes (red from lack of sleep for 3 days), to wend their way slowly down my unfeeling, unwashed face. Martha, sweet Martha, so calm. I would never have made it through all this without you! Yet I can see gray hairs already, that were not there in your brilliant, red, long, curly locks before the start of all this! Texas Independance Day, indeed. Texas Mortuarial Day, more like it. Jennifer is sobbing in her room again. Guess I'd better go lie down with her again, try to comfort her. There, there. Daddy and Mommy are here. It's OK. RIGHT! OK? With your grandparents dead, your friends dead, your cat dead, everything we own either gone or so radioactive we'll never see it again, things aren't all right, kid! But we have each other, and we're alive, and Stacy & Elvin said we could stay here as long as we need to. Yeah, that's what I'll tell her, and then we'll pray, and... Dear God! What was that? Like a direct lightning hit, almost, but half the windows shattered, and glasses falling over? Maybe it's a plane! Have they come at last to get us? - Q - (conversation aboard USAF F-15E #731, 7/11/90, 9:11 PM) "Incredible, sir! Everything looks normal. How could that have happened? There's not another intact spot between Louisiana and the new Pacific coast!" "Don't ask me. But we've got all the cameras and instruments recording. I just hope we don't have to sterilize the area due to radiation damage and mutations." "But Admiral! We saw HUMAN activity! People running out to see us!" "Not our job to decide, Peckinpah. Just fly this babe, and I'll get the data for PACFLEET, who'll get back to SAC and the JCS, and they'll make the decision." "Christ! I don't..." "Captain Peckinpah, please refrain from argument at this time. If you wish to discuss this off the record, contact me after we land. In the meantime, let's cut back to 680 knots and save some windows and hearts, and make a pass over the eastern portion of the city." "Yessir." - R - (Deep underground beneath the reactor building at UTEP, 7/11/90, 11:00 PM) Again, for what must be the thousandth time, Dr. Reimann opens the door to the room marked, "Authorized Personnel Only", after passing through the retinal scanners, blood testers, fingerprint and voice analyzers, three sets of alert US Marines, and the auto-lasers. All the readouts are well within the safe zones. "We may make it after all", he thinks, "if the transubstantiators hold out and the energy sink doesn't overload." Nearly smiling, but not quite daring to, he closes the door and walks back down the hall towards his first full night's sleep in a month. Little does he know of the hero's welcome that awaits him in a few weeks, or of the massive inquisition spawning itself deep within the bowels of Congress. - S - (a barely-lit room, 7/11/90, 11:54 PM) Vauge sobbing sounds break through the fog, and the restful dark dissolves, swirls, and slowly brings the kitchen into focus. I can barely open my eyes or raise my head, but I must see if it is Martha that is crying, or the last vestiges of some dream. What? This is who? Cindy from next-door? Oh. Home from school in California. Her roommate? No, you're right, I'm sure. The one newscast that got through said California was gone. Dear God. I'm sorry, Cindy. I know. We lost our whole family other than who's here. No, no, that's all right. We understand. It IS a shock. So many lives, gone, just like that. Good thing your parents were here. Say, was that your car out there? Got much gas? Really? It's almost nonexistant around here. Better lock that up at night. Parents out for the evening? Sure, Martha, she can have our room. You stay in there with her. I'll be OK out here. Allright. 'Nite. All dissolves quickly to quiet, welcome darkness...